Starting Over

2023 Was a life-changing year for me. Infidelity was exposed in our marriage and after counseling and disclosures more counseling, it almost fell apart. As you can imagine, My life as I knew it came to a screeching halt. There was months long separation which was emotionally jarring. Rick and I had known each other for 10 years before dating for 6 years, followed by 43 years of marriage. A 59 year 'crush' was now crushed.

This is the first picture I have of Rick and I. We were both in elementary school.

Since I had spent over the last 10 years, following a leading to write music; I had spent much time learning different programs to prepare me to accomplish my dreams. I had been watching many 'how-to' videos, teaching me various programs as Cake Walk, Cubase, Garage Band, Logic Pro X, Finale, Band-in-A-Box, Camtasia to make music videos, and then building a YouTube page so I could share the music videos, Affinity Publisher so I could print it out in book form and this website on WIX so that I could share my music with anyone who might be interested in listening. Each program had taken me a significant amount of time to learn, and now... I no longer felt qualified to write music about christian families, since it seemed like mine had failed horribly.

I am still reeling from wounds this has caused our whole family. Thank God, He has brought people in Rick's life and in my life to sit with us in our pain and take steps beside us as we walk down a new road. One of my childhood friends that was ministering to me as I was struggling to figure out God's purpose for me now. She told me that God had revealed to her, that He was "changing my song." So... even though I was no longer writing 'children's music' with my daughter and grandchildren, I continued to attend Composer Symposiums and music writing conferences.

This was the first picture we took together after being separated over 4 months.

God continued to make His presence known to me as I met new people, and continued my musical journey. My music has taken a definite turn, but it is still an outlet I can use to express my journey with Christ even though it has taken a new direction. My prayer is that, as my wounds heal and become scars, my scars might be used to lend someone hope. Someone that might be dealing with a fresh wound that, in their pain, doesn't seem survivable.